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My 2020 Story: Learning to Lean on God

By Chayanne Conley

Today we welcome Guest Blogger, Chayanne Conley to the pursuit! She is a Sophomore at Ohio Wesleyan University. Chayanne is pursuing a Psychology major and a minor in Spanish. She is a loving older sister, an amazing graphic artist, has the heart of a worshipper, and is my eldest niece! If you’d like to find out more about her, her contact information is at the end of the blog. Happy July!!

2020. In the future, everyone will feel some type of way when they hear that year (if you were old enough to live through it). Living through a pandemic and a mass of riots built up from inequality and general anger was enough. Throw in any other personal struggle that may have been the result of the 2020 “craziness” and you’ve got a hot mess. As a young black woman living through 2020 I can say there have been times that I can’t describe the physical feelings that “2020” has brought me. The frustration and fear for the health of my loved ones as we turn every corner; not knowing who is, has been, or may be carrying COVID has lingered across my mind. Just as much, the frustration and fear for the safety of my loved ones when someone else decided that they would treat us however they want due to the color of our skin. Was I mad? Yes. Was I scared at times? Yes.

Was I going to let 2020 stop me from my purpose? No.

Am I going to stop when God is telling me to go? No.

See, as a young Christian black woman, I take all that lingering frustration, fear, anger, and any other feelings to God. It is easy to be mad. It is easy to follow someone else’s lead. What isn’t as easy, is standing up for what you believe in when it feels like the environment around you is so heavily standing against you. While 2020 has been one crazy year, to say the least, 2020 has been an opening in numerous ways for many people. This year has been the time to check on the loved ones you couldn’t bring up the courage to talk to after years of silence. The year to listen to others and have those hard conversations that people usually avoid. The year that some people may say is full of hatred, but I believe it is the year that is filled with just as much, if not more, compassion; more compassion than some people have ever seen in their lifetime. Are there still problems in today’s society? Of course. We are humans and we make mistakes.

The good thing about problems is God always has a way to solve them. We just have to be patient and listen. The bible tells us to “to lean NOT on our own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV). No one understood what was happening in 2020 and one could say that we still have no clue what is happening. I trust in the Lord and have been in prayer that I don’t try to rationalize or fully understand all that is going on around me, but that I lean on and surrender to Him. I trust that I am becoming closer to Christ and listening to what He is calling me to do in 2020. I want my story of 2020 to be filled with the guidance of The Holy Spirit. After all, the only thing that is, IS Christ Himself. Therefore, I don’t need to worry about what is happening right now but instead lean into the pain, the compassion, the frustration, the love, and fuel my purpose.

Everyone will have their own “2020 story”. Who are you letting guide your story?

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